Fat Moment by Jesse Capozzi
from issue 02
from issue 02
I.
Squared building with a garage door
on South St., really quite far away which means in the southern half. The block is wide, one way, with a linear view of the no longer used expressway still painted perfect green. Serene in that formerly felt like a treat way but is now a constant in this year of our lord. Perfect. A warehouse was gotten easily but almost impossibly. When looked back upon it was not at all difficult. No single step required more than an afternoon’s work.
But let me argue against this because
too many afternoons spent in the incorrect way and
I HAVE TO KILL.
SIMPLE.
Now younger, not fat and working in a “Shop.”
DEF: AN INTERIOR PLACE (NOT SPACE) WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING WHERE WHATEVER THE PRINTED PAPER SAYS IS TO BE DONE LITERALLY AND IN EXACTLY THE WAY THAT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE ON THE PARTICULAR DAY WHICH YOU DO IN FACT UNDERSTAND. YOU ARE PERFECT.
Character Ralphie is a damn genius
and these fucking cocksuckers I would never run a business like this. How am I accepting and position assuming that I will be cutting steel and Mike McNeil will walk in and also I need to add that it is 2:00 PM and this “day” started at aprox. 8:00 AM. And Mike McNeil will walk in and say you and Julian are going to start your day at 4:45 PM tomorrow and pick up the men’s health billboard pieces around midnight from a place in Manhattan. Now bridges are involved.
Howww is it okay to treat people like
that I believe I am a good person ! The client gave them the notice today ooo Jesus just take it from Jesus and the Client I would love to take whatever from the client. They would give me a rolodex and I would get bent over by the Hot Client. If they pay me a compliment on my work (my worth) I will smile to myself for two minutes.
II.
So early on he knew he would never
run a shop like this with the little notice to poor people but also he would run it exactly like this. People forget things like protocol systems written on their hands and watches. Even technology alerts are fallible. And literally how, if I had a business would I ever say no to a client ?
The seed was planted that through
stealing tools, being bad with money, and not hustling but being hustled, that through all of these things Ralphie is now old and has purchased a warehouse in the nearly empty zone. Hopefully and skillfully he wished for years upon years with his powerful mind that some awful, real events would happen and rent would go back down with buildings - big corrugated roofed decrepit ones - bursting with availability. He also prayed this substantial event would miraculously result in the permanent suspension of alternate side parking.
IT WAS TRUE.
IT ALL CAME TO PASS.
No abandoned cars either it was a tow company
All of the broken down abandoned one’s were cleared away and god I can literally park anywhere now.
III.
Industry did not collapse.
This is not something about a nebbish
idiot slowly preparing and working towards something that is no longer applicable when it comes. He got the mythic golden goose warehouse and the city was really wide open. There is still work to be done. Fabrication is like bustling but I am a hoarder. Not ever committing enough to worry about needing workers o it is so lovely to do. Start to finish bring the drawing to life from your own hand that Jesus you know is so much better than anyone else's. But there is wrongness and the mistakes were certainly not you; all of measuring and everything was solo.
Overwhelmed or tripped up for a
moment out of your fruitful year
=
You are a skill-less blubbering child
who does not have the chin
for impeccable performance work.
I know it is possible that if he got his posture like complete and utter posture correct he would get married.
Later:
He is going to try and get married.
Warehouse Procurement:
There is no marriage but he is now parking the sacred car (it is actually a different car now because it has to be there is no way the burning oil thing would have made it this many years). Opening the door and undoing seatbelt is akin to stepping off the mound. Put the shifter in park while also doing up the emergency break. Slide out. And the edge of the seat is just gone. Not because Ralph isn't as thin as he used to be but o Jesus he’s now got the tight on the shoulders barely long enough graphic shirt that might as well say “I Love” on it.
Neckbeard not flowing but it is there
and the face is carrying some fat but I think that's okay. If you are young and it’s been a year time can be spent thinking about 30 something 40 year old men that look like this and they’re on the subway and in the hallway by the water fountain double chinning (they do not actually have one all the time but is just looking down hard at a phone). Really dumb eyeglasses making contact but you’ve got them too. Now you know you are to become him with the unflattering short length and god. And lack of god which does not actually have to be god but a lack of really devoting. Entering a time of reservation that might last for years in a comfortable kitchen reading glasses now slid down on the nose.
IV.
Ralphie did become this guy. He
actually is the same guy because he did not hate and stare but went up to him by the water fountain that fateful day and bought the shirt. The one he is wearing today. A good and gentle friendship formed because he decided to and also knew it was a good idea.
So - carbon copy steps out of car.
Full three steps towards the rear and there is about two feet to the car behind. Back in, seatbelt, handbrake shifter to reverse and now we’re counting while backing up. The count numerals system is actually not a solid one even though it was devised over a decade ago and sometimes things are scraped. It is okay to be mad now. - Think “Jesus, he’s making this guy (himself, obviously) out to be a real dick b/c he’s putting his seatbelt back on to reverse the car a few feet. Laying it on a bit thick”.
No. This is Real.
Ralph learned or adapted this habit
learning to drive and back in trucks and pull them out of the shop see I brought it back around.
If the truck is pulled out and I don’t see a vehicle coming down the street something terrible will happen.
Seatbelt is always put on so I won’t be punished, right away.
Except I was but the superstition system cannot be abandoned.
If the truck is pulled out and I don’t see a vehicle coming down the street something terrible will happen.
Seatbelt is always put on so I won’t be punished, right away.
Except I was but the superstition system cannot be abandoned.
In the first May a passenger side
mirror clips a driver side mirror of a public bus.
Seatbelt was on.
Seatbelt was on.
Summer following -
Huge heaving but flexible truck body digs into the lifting arm of a dumpster while reversing into the shop. To be repeated many times with the dumpster falling over colossal volume. You did enjoy seeing Julian hide a laugh and go over and pick up the dumpster for you. God! (swoon)
More examples need to be skipped
over but there was a second summer, and in it at aprox. 7:30 am - open windows, center right lane of williamsburg bridge, physical passenger side of truck body hits cement barrier- mirror also explodes but this time glass flies in and we duck while driving.
This is, or this should have been
when I changed my life because I didn’t correct the wheel how could I have but someone did. Hmmm? Missed lost chance and it can be noted that the proprietor of the shop is at a loss here. Their only function is to have a great sum and take on the necessary risk of spending it.
AND I AM SAYING THAT GOD STOPPED ME FROM WRECKING.
V.
Dimmer and Shallower;
less concrete moments made up the
coming years and with that, it is actually not true there was good! A something here, an, oh, “old school” beer drinking event maybe once a year. Memories of group happiness but they are actually connected to ruining families. I can’t quantify how this character lost touch with whoever he should have been running a business with. Now it is just somebody at 30 40 something years of age holding fast. The tying to the past - which is maybe something to an extent - and the continuously moving forward (a definite good) are at odds with each other. I mean lord, lord how could they not be.
Peer X
Stagnant.
Peer X1
Somewhat split still forward facing.
Peer XZ
Totally current and future.
Ralph - Seventy Thirty split leaning into holding onto.
Most arresting division possible
Most arresting division possible
We are now spending valuable
minutes attempting to park as effectively as possible* in a timeline where this is not necessary. No alternate side parking sixty five dollar tickets and acres for these cars. It is raining now on a Friday 7/11 or 12 and I went to the park to sit read write but looked at my phone for thirty eight minutes eating Toronto accents instead of looking at my ideal landscape right in front of me. This is a person parking in a way where there are no cars coming to take the spots left open but is holding fast onto the idea that there might be.
He is therefore holding onto the idea of being a good person which does not exist.
He is therefore holding onto the idea of being a good person which does not exist.
*leaving the max. amount of space for other cars.
VI.
I feel like I got hit in the head really hard because last night i used my right hand to hit myself in the head hard three times.
VII.
The old might-as-well-be prehistoric
method of no money job rent cost (or not paying it). The no want for buildings floating lifestyle does not exist anymore. Except it actually does you just either have not tried hard enough and/or are not hot enough.
Meaning - Your “work” is not hot (good) enough or you are not yourself.
Full in or full out you need to be
absolutely completely stealing time with a room while eating delivered food by an illegal immigrant trying not to be killed, while also having a dog. As I am now young working in a “shop” it should be known that the place (not space) is located in the dog capital. It is genuinely impressive to see so many well manicured people who found they had to get a dog in New York City.
They also wish they had a car to
constantly move. And a concrete experience could be one that happens while parking, it is not good or bad. It is one in which a difference is felt after that cannot be ignored. Imagine with me this is your routine let’s say you have had one of these in the day prior. Afterwards, commuting. Wearing a soaked fake leather and fur tan-ish brown-like jacket on the train because you were frightened of riding your bike on the ice.
I am now changing my earlier take because you can ignore a profound life experience.
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I HAVE DONE THIS.
VIII.
Take the action to step out of the car
sloshing downwards which compresses the seat bolstering on the left side and it really looks like shit. He’s pleased with the acceptable eight and one quarter inch gap that's been left from his rear bumper to the front grille of the car behind him. These are the only two cars parked on the entire street no one drives or needs to drive and there has been no ticketing since his twenty ninth birthday.
I will tell you it's because of a collapse at the Brooklyn Navy Yard Impound caused by a backpack bombing of the Manhattan Bridge. This led to the loss of eighty five newly outfitted tow trucks, a saddening one. New societal changes led to the commissioner being very emotionally in tune and could just not go on.
DISBAND THE PROGRAM.
Ralph is making congenial-but-I’m-
getting-fat with a schlub beard acquaintance with guys who neutrally accept when I take their trash in a beat, unwashed, set up only for the driver car. This is dark if the passenger seat is also filled.
See me cram it in, the genius.
There is already crap in there fallen into the rear passenger footwell hole that is created when the seats are folded down. Big items are scraping against the discount store bottles of coolant and oil which do not actually keep the damn thing running. Not moved out of the way, men say aw geez let me help you out but I am in my feral retard state method of packing and it is like all those times I was a public ugly person on the train. This greasy heavyman compressing the seat into an undesigned form is sad to others because it is so plain to see the bad in blissfully going along (not blissed out).
Psalm.
And it was beautifully perfect.
Sweeping started on day one but that kind of never ending process where it accumulates by the time you finish.
Dusting never really occurred.
No shelving bought it is a waste.
Dusting never really occurred.
No shelving bought it is a waste.
I will make perfect stacks.
Absolutely Absolute.
.I have never seen a perfect stack that does not lean or teeter and slope after a point but I will be the first.
This dream was a sloppy mess of trash wood fiberboard, "valuable" metals that would never be used but the edges were lovingly filed, using the entire file as to not dull certain areas more than others.
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